Good Salesmen Don’t Yell At Their Kids

There’s a three-foot-tall aborigine laying crumpled on my kitchen floor, babbling nonsense louder and louder.  He’s past the point of listening to anything I have to say.  I can’t just walk away and leave him alone until he finishes his fit, because, well… it’s a kitchen.  It’s full of dangerous things.  That’s why he’s not allowed in there.  And I’m not going to solve the problem by hauling him off the floor and carrying him to his room.  So what can I do?